Karaoke

I did a quality rendition of "Brick House" last night at a bar near the brewpub. More to follow.

Terror & Joy

Sunday Morning, approximately 8:00 AM:
John whispers with a terrified expression, "there's a big native with a machete standing outside our room".

Shortly thereafter, he realized this is the gardener.

The gardener then cracked open some coconuts with his machete so we could drink the juice. Dave & Regina were given coconuts when they arrived at the airport. They were happy to be out of Puerto Rico.

Visitors

I'm getting pumped up for this Saturday when I get to start playing 'tour guide'. I anticipate an entertaining week ahead.

Montpelier Domino Club

On Sunday, I decided that I needed to see the drinking pigs. So, Elan and I set out to find them.

On my way to pick up Elan, I saw a horse with a bird standing on its back. This was probably an omen that the day was going to be weird.

We found where the Domino Club (which ended up being exactly what the tourbooks describe it as: an outdoor bar in the middle of the tropical rainforest) should be on the map of St Croix. It looked like the whole route would be on main roads. This was not the case.

Early into the journey, we encountered a 'road closed' sign. We ignored it, since very few people work on Sundays, so there were no construction crews around. The road was gravel, so it was still easily traversed. Down a way, Elan told me to turn. I verified his instruction, as it made complete sense with how the map was drawn. The road I turned on quickly narrowed so that only one car could be on it... then pavement stopped and we were winding up a hill. An old bathtub was inhabited with lots of vegetation on the roadside. Unsurprisingly, this led to a dead-end. We turned around and my car lurched back down the dirt hill.

Since other side roads looked equally treacherous, I suggested just taking the one nicely-paved road along, even though the map indicated that it would take us somewhat away from our intended destination. The road I chose didn't have a discernable name, but there was a sign at one intersection that pointed down the road and said "Rain Forest". Somehow, I had a good feeling, even though it appeared to be in the wrong direction. After winding under the canopy for a mile or so, we were greeted by a very surprising sight. A big wooden sign was adorned with a swine guzzling a can of beer!
Somehow, we happened upon that glorious place. Unfortunately, the pigs sleep at 3PM on Sundays, and we were too late. (so, this activity will likely occur next Sunday--just around lunchtime).

The bar itself would generally be considered awful were it not for the guzzling pigs. It has character though, and I respect that. However, our "table" was a filthy.... and I mean disgustingly dirt-covered plastic patio table which had an equally unclean umbrella emerging from its center. The bar-tender tricked us both into "trying" a "Mama Wanna". We thought she was giving us a sample of her special drink. At least it was only $1, but it was a god-awful liquor concoction in a little dixie-cup shot glass. The beer that I washed it down with was surprisingly reasonably-prices though! There was also a platter area on the bar that was keeping some scary-looking fried chicken very warm.

After downing our beverages, we took photos at the large stone memorial dedicated to the first drinking pig. I think his name was Buster.

I am very excited for next week when I see them drink.

To top off this day, after our adventure, I was hanging out at Elan's place & we were watching the Simpsons after gorging on some McDonald's. As I anxiously awaited the grand ending of Homer trying to live up to Lisa's expectations, the power in the condo complex went out. I offered some help and then went home (knowing that he might not have power for a long time). Fortunately now at work I have heard that it was restored to him around 1 AM, when every light went on with a blinding flash.

Mongooses!

On my way to work today, I saw a mongoose.

Despite hearing that the island is "overrun" with these creatures, I haven't seen any until today.

It's like a squirrel, but lower to the ground, the tail isn't bushy, and it eats snakes.

Wonderful News

I just discovered today that even though the VI doesn't have Megamillions, it does have Powerball. That means when I play the lotto here, if I win my victory will come at the expense of only people not from NJ, so I feel even better about it!

And, with my first ticket, bought on Tuesday, I matched the "Powerball" number of 12, so I've got 3 Washingtons headed my way!!

Crucian Traffic Jam

While driving the other night I had to stop because a horse was just hanging out in the middle of the road.

Defunct

This though is a bit delayed, but I thought it was neat. During my Puerto Rico layover I noticed an airplane with "Pan-Am" markings. I had thought this company to be entirely non-existant these days. However, a few minutes of research indicated that some of its old planes are operated by spinoff companies on a few routes. It just looked like something out of the 1970s (it probably is), and seemed very odd taxiing on the runway.

Comparisons for reference

St. Croix
population: 53,234
land area: 80 sq mi

Cherry Hill
population: 69,965
land area: 24.4 sq mi

Gamblin' & Exploration

This weekend my co-worker is over in Puerto Rico meeting up with some friends who are involved in some boating event. Therefore, I get to make my own fun. This is not a problem (note my earlier post regarding making friends at the brewpub).

So, Saturday begins lazily. After hanging around and doing some swimming, Margarita (my host) offers me to join her & her daughter (who lives nearby) for a trip into Christiansted. I agree. We end up having lunch at the brewpub, and I impress them when a guy at the bar yells out to me. This guy (who I played dice with on my third day here) I now realize doesn’t just work at the pub but is a manager there. That explains why the drinks that I lost count of during that first visit totaled a whopping $7. I will definitely make an effort to visit that establishment much more often

So, we had a pleasant lunch and return home. Blah blah blah… dinner, etc.

Then, in the evening I am informed that a bar I am aware of (but not yet visited) has a special “full moon party”. I look outside and see the full moon. At about 8:15 I head for the bar. I reach it around 8:25. No room in the parking lot, & the street doesn’t exactly have a shoulder. So, I think “f the bar… hitting it alone when it’s so packed isn’t really what I’m looking for anyway, and I can’t drink much since I drove here”. So I think of the brewpub and the possibility that my manager-buddy might still be there. So I drive into Christiansted, park and walk to the boardwalk (where the brewpub is). Don’t see my buddy (“Tommy” is what I think his name is). So, feeling the same “eh, I’d rather not drink much” thing, I return to my car thinking of some activity.

Then, at approximately 8:50, the full moon strikes. I think “I have nothing useful to do, and I haven’t seen Point Udall, the ‘Easternmost Point of the US’, yet”. So, not consulting my maps, but with a general idea of which direction is East, I drive out of town. On my way to Point Udall, I decide that I should take a leak off of that distinguished point. So, about 10 miles (3 or so are a creepy, twisty, unkempt road, which I’m sure is much nicer during the day when an ocean view complements the drive) and 20 minutes later, I reach “Point Udall”. I recognized the weird sculpture thing from many travel brochures and websites (google it—you’ll realize what I mean). So, I put the car in park, not turning it off, get out to touch the monument (it just felt more official that way), and then I step to the side, unzip my fly, aim easterly, and whiz. Then, getting back in my car, I notice a parked car about 30 yards away. Obviously not a cop (since I wasn’t being arrested), I briefly thought “maybe this is some shady criminal activity going on”. As I pull around, I realize it’s just a couple cuddling & star-gazing. They were somewhat uncomfortable-looking. This is probably because a guy just ruined their romantic moment by pissing off of a tourist attraction.

Following that, as soon as I got far enough down the dirt road to get cell phone reception, I realized I needed to share my glory with someone back home. Since I recently spoke with John Moffett and he had mentioned a possible hang, I figured he’d be a good recipient. So, I called John at 9:21. Alas, no hang was in progress, but Donna and he had the distinct honor of first hearing my tale. I think they both laughed, so that pleases me.

Then I briefly entertained the thought of driving around the entire island. Regardless of whether I’d be doing that or going back home, I’d have to take the same road. So, I drove. Then, some glorious lights caught my eye. I was drawn to the Divi Carina Bay Casino like a mosquito to a bug-zapper.

Like many words, casino in St. Croix means something rather different from casino in Atlantic City. The best analogy is to think “Turning Stone” (an Injun casino in the middle of nowhere in NY State), but only about 25% the size. 90% of this “casino” was slots, and there was a MAXIMUM of 10 tables (I think 2 were closed—on Saturday night). So maybe 5 poker-esque things, 2 blackjack tables, and one roulette wheel.

Of course, I promptly sat down at an old-west train themed nickel slot machine.

I put in $5, and lost.

Put in another $5. Lost.

Counted my singles. Had 6.

Played one at a time. Lost 4.

Put in last one. Down to 5 credits (my average bet was 25 cents—5 lines @ 5 cents per line).

Last best, I won 500 credits.

Stared a while until I realized the mental math to do. I discerned that was $25 and was very happy with myself. Resolved to stop at $20 so I’d end up being up $5.

Before that happened I won something crazy again—got around 1230 credits. Realized that was over $60. Decided I’d stop at $60. That’s what I did.

Then, since my winnings were more than the machine would dispense in coins, I had to wait about 15 minutes for an attendant to come and pay me. All the while, a poorly-digitized refrain from “In the Money” was playing continuously on the machine and a light was flashing. The excitement was dampened by the fact it was nickel slots, so the payout wasn’t ridiculous, but I was still pretty happy.

I got my cash. (aiming for rationality, I realized it was a total winning of less than $45 (since I also put in some nickels when I first sat down). Still happy though. While waiting I realized I had 3 quarters. So, I figured to play them and nothing else on my way out. I put the quarters in a quarter machine… pull the lever (this was an actual levered machine--- the nickel one was entirely video). Bar… bar… bar! I won $4.50 (far less that what I thought a payout for such a thing would be. So, I cash out and grin. That total made me feel like I was up $50 (a nice round number). Plus I used a complementary moist towelette to rid my hands of the filth of such an establishment. That made me feel like a winner!

The time was approximately 10:35. Not a bad evening.

As I typed this story, I drank a Red Stripe (I now know that if the colors of that beer’s logo are inverted, you have the ‘Diver Down’ flag, which alerts passing boats to scuba divers). Red Stripe is slightly cheaper here than at home.

Hooray Beer!

Swift Justice

I just overheard my judge and another judge discussing the recent order linked below. A Florida counterpart of my judge required two attorneys to play 'rock, paper, scissors' to determine where to hold a deposition. My judge thought it was was very creative. Maybe I can be a referee if he starts ordering similar things!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060609/ap_on_fe_st/rock_paper_scissors_ruling_1

Lull

I just looked out my window and saw the seaplane descending. It looks neat. I should probably go to St. Thomas some weekend, but by boat since that is much cheaper than the plane.

I probably won't post again until Monday (intending to have stories & maybe photos from this upcoming weekend).

Some Courthouse Excitement

I was sitting in on the hearing discussed in the story linked below.

http://www.onepaper.com/stcroixvi/?v=d&i=&s=News:Local&p=1149307478
Headline: Attorney Could Be Disbarred After Interfering With Jury in GRM Trial

I saw perhaps the dumbest lawyer ever. She didn't do a good job of showing a judge respect when the future of her career rested in his hands.

Anyway, this just indicates how small of an island St. Croix is, since something so relatively minor (outside of the legal community) was one of the top 4 news articles on the local paper's web site. Of course, when an island has fewer people than Cherry Hill, small things have the potential to be big news.

note: That wasn't my judge. I just had some free time on the first day, and I'm generally encouraged to attend other proceedings in the building to see what goes on.

more words & bears

Sorry, no photos lately. I have internet all day at work, but not my own computer. However, sights inside this building aren't very exciting (although it does have a fancy looking courtyard that noone uses).

Anyway, yesterday after work Elan (my counterpart from Brooklyn Law School) and I felt like hanging out but were lazy. So, we opted to drink, eat papaya, and rent a movie. The movie was titled 'Grizzly Man' and came highly recommended from some friends of his. I think I'd like those friends.

The movie was a documentary about a nutjob who went up to Alaska for 13 summers and lived with bears. The guy would have probably done this for even more years, but he was eaten by a bear on the last summer. Don't worry, I didn't ruin anything, since they let you know he gets eaten about 3 minutes into the movie. I recommend checking it out at sometime (especially if Schmitt still has moviepass).

A Tribute

Before anyone claims I am just copying some other guy on the internet, I hereby provide a link to my inspiration for keeping this blog up to date: http://www.stuffedwombat.com/diary.html

The guy who produced the above site was a law clerk for one year in the Republic of Palau. His site is lengthy, but pretty entertaining. I recommend reading at least the 'Prologue'. Btw, Palau is the place you may have heard me mumbling about fairly recently since the Chief Justice Arthur Ngiraklsong of the Supreme Court of Palau (who this guy worked for) is a 1975 graduate of Rutgers Camden Law School.

Work has Begun

Kinda exciting for me, but very less so for you, my dear readers. So unless any crazy anecdotes occur, I'll keep it at:
1) The judge is cool.
2) I have a personal office with an ocean view.


In other news, I took part in a low-stakes poker tournament in some hidden rooms in the basement of a bar last night. It was fun. I lost 10$ and played for about 2 hours. This will be a Monday night hang while I'm here; in August, Thursdays will regain their significance for me.

Update First Week, Part 2

*****note: if you want continuity in my stories, read the previous post ("Part 1") before this.

Since my last writing (even though posted simultaneously) I’ve been fairly active. My last two dives on Friday went well. Went up to 60 ft deep on the last one…but I guess I’m just not enough of an appreciator of nature, since the coral and fish at 60 ft looked the same to me as the stuff at 40 and 20 did. However, there are some cool deep dives around here that I’ve heard of (such as sunken ships), so there are some dives where I’d actually notice different sites.

As I’m typing, I have a local reggae station playing on the radio and an incredible ad just played. Apparently, Antilles Power Depot is THE SOURCE for diesel generators which will help me get through any problems posed by hurricane season. You can visit them (based in Puerto Rico, I believe) on the web at antillespower.com.

Saturday I went on a free guided snorkeling expedition run by someone from the dive shop I got certified at. I’m a fan of snorkeling since you can see very similar stuff to scuba diving and it’s free. We saw a spotted manta ray, probably about 3 feet wide, so that was pretty nifty. Also, I caught sight of some rare fish, unbeknownst to me, but the guides were pretty excited. It looked like a rock on the bottom, until it opened its eyes and swam. No caught lobsters yet, but I may try to do that some evening after work this next week or maybe next weekend.

At the grocery store I was intrigued by the presence of Guinness Foreign Extra Stout. However, the intrigue gave way to ambivalence and partial disgust as I realized that this beverage didn’t taste as good as regular Guinness Extra Stout nor Guinness Draught. It has a higher alcohol content, but that’s the only significance beyond a less appealing taste that I could discern.

So, as Saturday winded down, I decided to take out the car for a bit of exploration. I’ve not logged in 100 miles (which means I could have circled the island twice, but instead I’ve become familiar with the greater Christiansted area). Over the next week I plan to hit the Cruzan (pronounced “Croo-shun” & sometimes spelled Crucian) Rum Distillery and drive out to Point Udall (the self-proclaimed Easternmost Point of the USA). I believe this Point Udall thing to be a farce though, since unless I’m mistaken as to where the international date line is, the title of Easternmost Point is held by either some point on Guam or the Northern Mariana Islands (Westernmost would be somewhere on American Samoa). Maybe I’ll challenge a non-threatening islander with this assertion…

While exploring, I saw two things that are definitely different from what a ride through NJ would include. First was in Christiansted. Keep in mind that this is the largest “city” on the island. As I was going down a fairly heavily-traveled street I had to stop abruptly because a local resident jumped in front of my automobile. This resident was a wild (or escaped?) rooster! I’ve already encountered goats blocking part of a road, but that was a more rural one, and then I could see the fence the escaped from (and it looked like what I’d expect a Caribbean goat farm to look like), so there was less surprise factor there. However, wild fowl in the city was very reminiscent of Kung Fu movies, and I never thought I’d be in a place where this would be reality.

Later in my exploration, I realized I need to pick up a few things, so I hit Pueblo, one of the two major grocery “chains” on the island. I say “chain”, because each has two locations. While in the ‘seasonings’ aisle (I need to make my pasta dishes taste a little different), a bird swooped by and perched on the next aisle. This was more surprising because this was not a Home Depot-esque store with big openings and high ceilings. It was a normal grocery store with normal entrances and exits. Nevertheless, a bird was hanging out there. I then casually checked my groceries for any signs of droppings and made my way to the check-out.

And, I will close this installment with a quote from a radio ad that just played for the other grocery chain, Plaza Extra. Steel drums were playing in the background & this was sung in a very thick Caribbean accent (think Jamaican, since I really have no clue what the differences are yet) “Pla-za got all dat ‘chu need”.

Update First Week, Part 1

A new image of local fauna.

Here’s a pretty big millipede that died next to my bed. (he was living at the time of this photo):

While creepy & crawly, I’m told that millipedes are alright, since they eat smaller insects and do nothing to humans (except maybe make us jump). Centipedes however do bite people…nothing dangerously poisonous, but I hear it does sting a bit. Fortunately, Centipedes are more brightly colored and have a scarier head, so avoiding them will be a natural reaction. The millipedes are kind of like little walking poops, so they look far less threatening.

It’s now June 2^nd around 7 AM and I’m killing some time before going to my second dive class (which will complete my certification). So, I will graciously provide a brief recap of the last few days.

Tuesday, May 30: I went to a beach late at night with my hosts, and after more waiting than I had anticipated I got to see a pretty enormous leatherback sea turtle come to shore, lay & bury its eggs, then return to the ocean. The whole turtle process took about an hour, and I touched it. Kind of neat, but it was about 2AM when the whole thing was complete, which I was previously unaware of the time commitment involved. I guess these special feats of nature take some time, but I was hoping we’d just strut on up and see about 20 turtles laying simultaneously. Yeah, it didn’t work like that.

Wednesday, May 31: This was a nice day. My hosts, Margarita and Dan arranged for their friend, the Judge, to come by for lunch. So, I got to meet my employer in a very casual setting, plus I got a free lunch out of the deal. The judge was very personable, didn’t start quizzing me about my legal qualifications, and just seemed like he’ll be a good guy to be working for. After lunch, I decided to go into Christiansted, the largest town on the island (which is also very close to me), and check out some sights. Of primary interest was the ‘Fort Christian Brew Pub’, which came highly recommended from some people I know, and also I hadn’t had a drink since my complementary rum in the airport.

First I saw all the historical buildings: Alexander Hamilton’s childhood home (yeah, he lived here for a bit), Fort Christiansvaern, and the scale house (where everything exchanged in commerce, including slaves, was weighed).

Then, I found the Brew Pub. I sat down alone at the bar and ordered one of their local brews. I expected to just have that and leave. However, 3 new drinking buddies, some dice games, about seven free shots, and five hours later was when I actually left. Needless to say, I was very happy to see that a great social scene exists here outside of the nature events. Not that I don’t appreciate giant turtles, but humans are alright too. I must say that the highlight was the chubby local bartender who loved bellowing “no ba-na-na” and guffawing every time an insinuation of gayness was made regarding one of my fellow drinkers’ affinity for banana flavored Cruzan rum. After finding my way home that evening, I collapsed in bed somewhat early and set my alarm to prepare for a big next day.

Thursday, June 1: Scuba certification day. In the morning I drove to the dive shop where I’m learning to dive. The shop is about 2x the size of the shed in the Moffett’s back yard. However, when the purpose of an establishment is to run dive tours, it makes sense that there’s no large land-based operation. The drive to the shop has some incredible views, and on an unintentional detour (ie- I got lost) I came upon the spot where Christopher Columbus “discovered” the Americas. First I spent about 2 hours learning some basics in a shallow (like 8ft.) area right off a beach. Then, we took out a boat and I did 2 real dives going to 40 ft. along a coral reef. While I can’t identify anything I saw (other than one small turtle), there were loads of fish with crazy colors, some even translucent-looking, and it was pretty neat. I returned home around 6 and was shocked at how tired I felt from diving. So, I made & devoured an enormous platter of pasta, turned on the TV and passed out.

Friday, June 2: Still killing time before dive class #2. I’ll be doing 2 more dives today (maybe going as deep as 50-60ft… I’m not really sure), and then I will be a certified scuba diver. Also, as a note for friends that plan to visit, even those who aren’t certified can do up to 40ft. dives with an instructor, and certified people would still enjoy such an activity. It’s called ‘discover scuba’, and is probably worthwhile since it’s fun and you get to see some neat stuff. A guy who was on the boat w. me yesterday was doing this, and he did the same dive I did. Also a note, bring more sunscreen than you think you’ll need. I’ve lathered it on (probably not often enough though) and still got burned a bit. The weather is generally warm but nice. Fans keep the apt. I’m living in very livable, but being out in the direct sun is what makes this place hot. It’s not really humid at all (probably the worst place is the airport, so after arrival it keeps getting better). Mosquitoes aren’t entirely devoured by various creatures as some travel guides will lead one to believe, but I’d say that there are fewer here than in NJ. Only problem is you tend to spend more time outside here than you would in NJ as well. So, I plan to buy some good repellent this afternoon. Also, I’ve been informed that taking Vitamin B makes you unappealing to Mosquitoes. So, to all guests I recommend you pick up a bottle and start popping them a few days before arrival. I haven’t tested this out yet, but it’s definitely worth a shot. Well, I’m off to dive. See ya.